DEFORESTATION.

This post inspired by the one Ichiena recently my housemates friends came over for a visit***two of them to be exact*** . They both seemed like nice people if the fact that one was a nudist was to be over looked(they stayed for a week such habits are not easy to miss), the other was a shy lil individual who could cook a mean lasagna and i mean the kind that makes your mouth water after that first bite.

Since i was busy and coming home form the library in the hours of midnight and likes, i volonteered my room and was sleeping on the sofa. OK OK maybe it has something to do with the fact that for me to share a bed with another person i have to REALLY REALLY like them. Wacha i disgrees kwanza ebu.

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Mimi i have very good sleeping habits yani i lala on one side and when am turning am fully awake that ensures that;
A. I don’t kick.
B. I don’t hog the blanketi.

OK that’s all i can come up with now but it’s a long list, so when i actually agree to let some one into my haven they had better behave****and many dont****. Like zamani erm i mean we once had visitors and my lil sis had to share my bed with me and horrror of HORRORS i wake up feeling like i have a ngunia on me and i can’t move my legs, WAIT i can’t move my head well either LOOKI LOOKI there is a toe in my ear!!!! WTF!!!!. I KICKED so hard she went flying out the bed, the lil rooster had gone and turned my feet into a makeshift pillow and my face a resting place for her feet. Next thing i know there is a scream from the floor and some one jumps on me i was TWANGWAD aki the ngumis that kairetu can pack, the screams woke up kila mtu and i was from that day on, marooned on the couch when visitors came calling. END OF DISGRESSION.

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It turned out the mama who could cook really well was a nudist in waiting so one day as i was sleeping on my tinsy island i wake up coz someone left the kitchen tap running ***arrgg dont you hate it when a person does that***** and i as i dragged my lazy rump to go funga the tap who do i meet coming out of the bafu!!!!! the cook and she was pithecus, bilas, nada. Yours truly just chuckled to herself and walked on, then the pic registered in her mind, walked back and saw,What me thinks the longest untrimmed grass, futhi, call it what you may and proceeded to laugh her heart out. Si watu woke up to find out what the frukazz was about and viola kwanza my housemate screamed!!!!!! and her friend the nudist joined me on the floor.

When i was able to control my kicheko i asked her, why kwani she wants to beat borats stash of pubic hair, and she says ati she is scared of wembe!!!! and what about waxing? to this she paled and closed the bathroom door.

Anyhew mama it seems thought about our outburst and while in the bafu saw Nair, and after a quick read and finding out that it removes body hair in a max 3 mins proceeded to generously apply it to her Congo forest. She decided to read it as she waited for the 3 mins to isha and somewhere on the bottle she sees this;

"Caution: Do not use in irritated, inflamed or broken skin. Keep away from eyes. Should Nair touch the eyes wash thoroughly with lukewarm water. If irritation occurs consult your physician. Keep away from children. Nair can be used on legs arms face any where except in nose, ears, on breast nipples, perenial or virginal/genital areas."

She screamed a guttural scream and with the hair that was falling off so were her tears there was nothing that we said that consoled her ****it might have had something to do with the fact that we were talking between gulps of laughter***
So later that day off to the physician we went....

TENANT.

This blog will house a squatter(said with much adoration) untill the said squater can find her own place. So musishangae sana coz there will be two people posting their crap erm gems in the name of thoughts at the same time untill, well i dont know untill when.

p.s I know i promised some one a rant and another one a post on chapo bootcamp and i will write, and on how manukato dude reciprocated is saved some where in the recess of my mind. If i can muster the energy i shall do that post this weekend. Since am going to be jobless soon haitus is up i guess, soo Bantu get ready for "the phoenix new edtion".

LITTLE F******* MANIPULATORS.

Well it has been quite a rough patch, a new year and it sucks already, i mean its what mid jan and am near pulling the hair out of my head, and who ever said some B*LLS*** about keeping a positive attitude was spewing crap and i SHIT you not, i have tried that for 3 months now and all it does is frustrate you more, smile think that it could have been worse, Hell who i am kidding when i tell myself this? (seriously hun i dont know how you do this but that person you wish me to be can never be) dissappionting but did you expect any less.

And this blog this is never what i wanted for it, and now its out of my control and the control freak in me wants it shut down but some how i like it's something that comes out of me that i refuse to control. See me i have never been the type to talk or write about what bothers me or what am thinking out or what it i would like to do, but lately offlaoding has been neccessary i mean i had not lost my temper in 3 years(my temper is the demon i inheritted from my dad) and last year and just this year twice, tae kwondo practice does not help any more and me thought maybe my sis' idea of writting it out would be good, lets just say i should have known better A. coz its of no use and this is the first time that ia actually doing and some how am getting more pissed as i contuniue to write.

Kwanza some people have shidaz always jumping to tell you "ati you have issues" "why are you like this" kwani how am i supposed to be, am so tired of taking blame for jack stuff that 3/4 of the time i have no idea what the hell it is. I know i can be too effing crude and some times i know i deserve half the shit that comes down my way but sometimes you meet some charaters that just drain you and i mean REALLY drain you and no amount of reason or logic is usefull in dealling with them and when you stoop down to their level, shock of all shock's the names you get called the demon that you all of a sudden become. It even makes you wonder? really that bad truth be told you could be that horrible and that bad and that mean and that cold, but the little F****** manipulator is worse with their thinking that if they make you feel guilty enough you will accept fault that isn't even yours.

So this post here is dedicated to all those LFM(Little F****** Manipulators) out there get real and loose the sheep skin you are just fooling yourselves.

And to a friend i am cold, am calculative, am pessimistic, i always think guilty till rproven innocent, that is me, you knew this even way back then, they say you can never teach an old dog new tricks well try and apply that principle to me. I cant be like you i cant be like him, i cant be like her and i most certaily can never be like them, i can only be me, and if still bothers you sooo STAY THE F*** AWAY FROM ME.

NEW YEAR????

This post dedicated to Aegues, egm and Unyc. After decideing that it was war, i mean me shopping is stressfull, for me and the person that end up dragging with me to the mall and this time i was going to get stressed all alone, i mean people how can you be soo mean that you desert me in my hour of need? ngojeni tu your time shall come.

23rd fikas and still bilas becuase me being me i procastinated so on the 24th i joined the throng of late shoppers like me who had no idea what it is they wanted, and the number of people has me thinking that there are many many late shoppers in toronto or that they all live for sales.

First stop future shop, i walk in and after seeing all the people i walk out. I head to sears and viola they seem to have a stand for scents, (see this is my speciality i have a nose that has is very good when it comes to colonge and perfume)



And that baby up there i will tell you all male bloggers is SUHWEET!!!!,And might cost a pretty penny and it's what i got and some silverish cufflinks(sp). This was a two hour ordeal coz the people jameni i mean the lines aghhrrrrr(insert very angry here).

Msee after getting his suprise was actually suprised, eti he did not think the troll that is me can have such good taste huh ati what? shindwe!!!!. Needless to say come new year i was suprised.

To be continued