NEW START?

Well i have been kinda quite for a while and i have a very good reason, see its a new job and that means new rules to adjust to, new people to deal with, new ways to work.......trying to figure out how you can incooperate you uni work as you work, yani its like multitasking to the max. It turns out "they" my employers had another idea yani its milk her for all she has before she decides to flee, flee you ask??? wacha i tell you why you would want to flee. Have you ever been just sitting in your ka offisi and next thing kuna vyoo(glass) ya gari zina ***i lie*** it was windscreens and bonnets, yeah you got it right watu walikuwa wana pigana" and there was the "No weapons allowed on premises" after kuuliza i get told ati kuna msee alikam na chuma(gun), and since then i have been seriously thinking of tendering my resgination. Alafu kuna the thing with all the damn youth vuating bangi yani mpaka you wonder if the smell is left on you nguo.

OK am done ranting.

On vale after the meeting people just sat around ehe coz ni vale and people should just sit and talk kubaff wote, so we sat with coffee mugs(mine looks like a birika) that was me and greg***the addicts**** the rest na maji, i say to heck with water is good for you. Wacha i stop digressing, so watu were talking about how women expect men to treat them all princessy and buy kila kitu, so this mama whom i shall not name for fear of getting sat on. Have you ever met someone and you jua mess with 'em and next thing yani hata wathii wount hear you screams, well this mama is that kind, and her thayos eish they can crack a peannut, yani that's how close and well built they are(Nani if you read this all that was said as a compliment).

This mama, as watu were busy yapping about how no ati they aint the kinda gal who expects to be pampered she was all quite and had something sort of a sneer on her face, and then she sucks her teeth si u jua how people just go something like msssshhhhhqhhs(aki that is how i think it should be written down). I and the rest of the group turn to look and kila mtu knows this habit if hers, so there is me looking at her with shock and awe mainly coz she was sucking so hard i was waiting to see her lips give in to the sanction. BTW that did not happen, and she says " eh me?? me Miss X NOOOO my man has to treat me Good" and then went back to sucking teeth. Yani its straight face hakuna kicheko well not from her atleast the rest of us were busy cluthing our ribs. Some dude ask's her why and she reply's with some more sucking and a very loud unplesant EH!!!!!. Someone told her if she expects that, she had better be ready to say how high when she gets asked to jump, Miss X hands akimbo says "who me? index finger on the udders she stole from some freshian(sp)***some sucking**** I DON'T THINK SO". There were people on the floor laughing coz this mama would talk and weka sura ya kazi like concrete i tell you.

BTW this post is work in progress and since saa hii sina tyme i shall maliza kesho.But there is this here gem that i patad as i was cleaning out my mail.

POOR JABU.

Jabu walked into class every morning with a black eye.
After a while his teacher got worried and asked him
about it. Jabu's answer was: "Our house is very small
miss. Me, my mother and my father, we sleep in the
same bed. Every night my father asks, 'Jabu are you
sleeping?' Then I say 'no' and then he donners me and
gives me a black eye."

So the teacher says to him, "when your father asks
again, keep dead quiet and don?t answer". The
following morning Jabu comes to school and his eye is
fine, so the teacher breathes a sigh of relief.

But the day after that Jabu comes back with a black
eye again.

"My goodness Jabu, why the black eye again?"

He tells her: "Mam, Dad asked me again... 'Jabu are
you sleeping?... and I shut up and kept dead still.
Then my father and my mother started doing... you
know, mos... 'IT' on the bed. Then my father asks my
mother: 'Are you coming?' then my mom says, 'Yes I'm
coming, are you coming too?' and my dad answered ...
'Yes'.

Not wanting to get left behind, I also answered and
said 'wait for me, I'm also coming, let me just put on
my shoes!' THAT'S WHEN I WAS MOERED!!!"