HER STORY.

I once met this girl, sweetest girl you met, i know it sounds like a cliche but she was the kind that are quite, never say too much rarely annoy you or speak ill of others that last bit kinda facsinated me. I mean there was this other girl who was such a nag and a pain in the rear, and she sorta liked picking on the quite one. Watching her make rude remarks and sneers was enough to make you want to gag, but since i did not know any one of them, it used to serve as a free movie of sorts***i know its real mean to see some one getting picked on and doing nothing but my defence is i stood up for a her a couple of times and the last time she said to quote her "I dont need you help OK"****** and later on i once asked her why she never told the scorpion**class nickname for the nag*** to butt off and she said that the scorpoin needs an outlet too.

We ended in the as a two team onion growing force as i liked to call it, it was our agriculture project. She was a good sport if you over looked the fact that she had no idea how to weed or get our little shamba ready for the onions, neither did i but after countless panos where me and the school fork jembe formed an intimate realtionship i was better prepared.

Two weeks into our project we were working like a well oiled machine, she only spoke to me if i asked or said something and some of my friends told me to ask for a new teammate. But i kinda liked the silence it remined me of faima they were worlds apart coz faima was so sunny, always smilling, always up to something and never listening to a word i said, while she on the other hand rarely smiled she was also very shy and she never looked at anyone straight, diffrence is faima learned to be quite and she well she seemed liek she was born quite.

School closed but we had to come in every afternoon to water our onions a task hated but that had to be done, during this time bicpets and tricepts were compared and jocked about even the blisters from the jerry cans(sp) became such a norm people stopped complaining and talking about them too much.

Evertime we were done watering i left, i asked her to come but she said wanted to rest, so i left with some other others girls and they said she leaves at around 6 every day and that wierd would not suffice to descirbe her, i told them they were jerks, i walked home alone.

The next day i stayed behind with her, i sat sketching, she sat with her book, we left at 6 walked home not talking. This went on for two weeks, and school was almost back,i was not sure i had any friends left, but i was ok anyways they talked too much.

"He was my teacher".......huh "did you say something" i asked her, "He was my teacher he was wearing a checkered shirt and had on some khaki pants i was 5 years old."

She was looking at me, and she did not look sad nor had any expressions but i did not want to hear what she had to say, so i said nothing to encourage her, i just kept on sketching.

"I can still fell his hands on me his nail scratched my thighs its scratched me there too, he then took my hand and made me hold his D***, i was scared i wanted to run but he was holding my hand so tight. He asked me if i liked it, i shook my head, then he slapped me. I remember i running and that is it."

Did you tell you mom or dad, this was me asking, but she said she did not remember anything else, why, how come and did you still go back to that school? she did not remember all that, all she remembers is moving to our ka village a few months later.

I wanted to say i was sorry for her, but after the i dont need you help stint i doubted that she wanted my pity, so i kept quite, and i asked her what she wanted me do? she said nothing.

Me:Did it only happen once?
Her:Yes and no,
Me:Ok, but you only remember the first time?
Her:It wasnt him the second time.

I had no idea what to say, so all i said was "oh ok"? and she just smiled and told me if i was uncomfotable she would be quite.

If i was uncomfortable? me why, i was angry with myself for being such a fummbling idiot but think as hard as i could i had nothing btter that "oh ok" to say.

She said that her cousin had been nicer and had only molested her when was dead asleep all she knows is that everynight she went to sleep in in her room and the next morning she woke up bila underpants, the first time she thought it was her own forgetfullness, the second time she woke up with someone on top her with a hand on her mouth. She told her mom her mom, her mom told her dad, her dad scolded them and they beat her her up,when her folks weren't home for telling lies. So she just kept quite.

The worst bit was her cousin was back in town and he was acting as though he never did any wrong and it was bothering her because she was scared he might try and do something again.

That day we walked home me silent coz i had no idea what to say that would not come out dumb and foolish or crass for that matter. I just told her that she could count on me for anything, and she told me that i should promise to one day tell her story.
I had no idea what that meant and i did not ask, i just made a promise that i have no kept.

School opened and she did not come the first week, on that friday she killed herself. Everyone thought it was tragic and sad. I had a promise to keep, so i decided to volonteer, right now i work at this shelter for abused women, everyday it feels like i take abit of their pain with me, like i loose abit of my soul everytime i am unable to help someone because i feel i have failed and that i have let her die again, i cant even tell her story realy well, it seems all am good or is fummbling about.

I still promise to tell your story i just need to be ready for it